FRIDAY,
FEBRUARY 24, 2006
Oh, boy. After reading a post on a
support forum, I started to get depressed again. It's the alone issue again.
Like I posted before, but there is more to it. Here's what I posted in that
forum:
My husband always has more time for his "buddies" than his family. We've been together for 10 years, celebrating our 9yr wedding anniversary March 28. He has so many projects that he wants to do around the house, but the minute he gets home, either his butts on the couch with the remote in his hand, or he throws himself onto the bed and is "dead asleep" within a minute. The other difference in our stories, we live with other people. My SIL and her family live with us (4 of them) and three of my husbands cousins. Currently, we live in a 3 bedroom house: We have the master bed and bath, my kids share a room, and my SIL and her fam are in the 3rd bedroom. The cousins live in the garage. We do not own this house, just rent it. So the messiness of the house is intolerable, but between me and my sil, no one else will do any cleaning. In fact, she does the majority of it, and hardly lets me do anything. If I say, I'll do it in a minute, she will not wait, gets mad at me and does it right away. That's beside the point. Our room is a pigsty. I beg him to put his dirty clothes in the dirty clothes bin, but of course, it piles up in the bathroom until I pick it up. And he leaves his shoes everywhere- kitchen, bathroom, living room, outside; and he wonders why I don't know where everything is... He works in contruction, so he get's paid fairly well enough for us to afford for me to stay home. Unfortunately, he has to spend his money on beer, pool, and other unneccesary stuff, and always wonders why we can't pay bills on time. I started a home biz, but it's growing slowly, and I won't be able to help out for at least a year. So in the meantime, he complains that we don't have enough money, and want's me to find a job again. I've not worked in one year. I enjoy the time with my kids, and I don't wan't to have to work again. I'm giving myself until Septemeber to make a modest check with my home biz. If it is still not enough, then I'll find a part time job while the kids are in school. But I can't right now. It's funny because he always complained about me being away from the kids and working too much; begging me to quit my job and stay home. Now he is begging me to go back to work. If I can't get the housework done when I'm home all day, how in the heck can I accomplish it if I go back to work? He say's he'll pay his sister to do everything, including our laundry. I'm sorry, that just doesn't sit right for me. I will not go back to work so I can have someone messing with my personal belongings. It irks me when people try to help me with personal chores...
But that's not it either. There's much, much more. I'm close to having a nervous breakdown. The problem is with having to live with other people, and his issue with not wanting to try to live just the four of us. He claims that since I can't accomplish all the chores with help, then I absoluetly will not be able to do them by myself. It's not the fact that I can't do them, it's the fact that there is so much to do, and no one except his sister trys to help. Even she cannot do everything by herself. I'm not superwoman, and he make me feel like I have to be. I finish cleaning the kitchen and within ten minutes it looks like a warzone again. Just the other night, both he and his sis complained that I spend too much time doing other things when I should be cleaning. I should be cleaning in the morning and then doing the other stuff in the eveneing. Ok, when have I ever cleaned during the day? When I worked at Target, I would always clean when I got home, since it was the only time I had to do anything. So, now, despite being home all the time, I still can't do any cleaning in the day time. Ok, some things like laundry and cleaning the kids room I do dayside, but other things like the kitchen... I don't see a point of cleaning if in five minutes or less it will be dirty again. Better clean it when it will stay clean for a few hours. Of course, if we have guests, which is rare, then it would be clean dayside. AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! I can't go on... then for sure you'll see my pix in the paper "Desperate Housewife Pleads Insanity..."
My husband always has more time for his "buddies" than his family. We've been together for 10 years, celebrating our 9yr wedding anniversary March 28. He has so many projects that he wants to do around the house, but the minute he gets home, either his butts on the couch with the remote in his hand, or he throws himself onto the bed and is "dead asleep" within a minute. The other difference in our stories, we live with other people. My SIL and her family live with us (4 of them) and three of my husbands cousins. Currently, we live in a 3 bedroom house: We have the master bed and bath, my kids share a room, and my SIL and her fam are in the 3rd bedroom. The cousins live in the garage. We do not own this house, just rent it. So the messiness of the house is intolerable, but between me and my sil, no one else will do any cleaning. In fact, she does the majority of it, and hardly lets me do anything. If I say, I'll do it in a minute, she will not wait, gets mad at me and does it right away. That's beside the point. Our room is a pigsty. I beg him to put his dirty clothes in the dirty clothes bin, but of course, it piles up in the bathroom until I pick it up. And he leaves his shoes everywhere- kitchen, bathroom, living room, outside; and he wonders why I don't know where everything is... He works in contruction, so he get's paid fairly well enough for us to afford for me to stay home. Unfortunately, he has to spend his money on beer, pool, and other unneccesary stuff, and always wonders why we can't pay bills on time. I started a home biz, but it's growing slowly, and I won't be able to help out for at least a year. So in the meantime, he complains that we don't have enough money, and want's me to find a job again. I've not worked in one year. I enjoy the time with my kids, and I don't wan't to have to work again. I'm giving myself until Septemeber to make a modest check with my home biz. If it is still not enough, then I'll find a part time job while the kids are in school. But I can't right now. It's funny because he always complained about me being away from the kids and working too much; begging me to quit my job and stay home. Now he is begging me to go back to work. If I can't get the housework done when I'm home all day, how in the heck can I accomplish it if I go back to work? He say's he'll pay his sister to do everything, including our laundry. I'm sorry, that just doesn't sit right for me. I will not go back to work so I can have someone messing with my personal belongings. It irks me when people try to help me with personal chores...
But that's not it either. There's much, much more. I'm close to having a nervous breakdown. The problem is with having to live with other people, and his issue with not wanting to try to live just the four of us. He claims that since I can't accomplish all the chores with help, then I absoluetly will not be able to do them by myself. It's not the fact that I can't do them, it's the fact that there is so much to do, and no one except his sister trys to help. Even she cannot do everything by herself. I'm not superwoman, and he make me feel like I have to be. I finish cleaning the kitchen and within ten minutes it looks like a warzone again. Just the other night, both he and his sis complained that I spend too much time doing other things when I should be cleaning. I should be cleaning in the morning and then doing the other stuff in the eveneing. Ok, when have I ever cleaned during the day? When I worked at Target, I would always clean when I got home, since it was the only time I had to do anything. So, now, despite being home all the time, I still can't do any cleaning in the day time. Ok, some things like laundry and cleaning the kids room I do dayside, but other things like the kitchen... I don't see a point of cleaning if in five minutes or less it will be dirty again. Better clean it when it will stay clean for a few hours. Of course, if we have guests, which is rare, then it would be clean dayside. AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! I can't go on... then for sure you'll see my pix in the paper "Desperate Housewife Pleads Insanity..."
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