But only in my mind.
Starting off the new year broke. My oldest may get evicted for not being able to pay rent. My only daughter is quarantined in another state. I still don't know if I'm staying where I am living...
If I was working from home I WOULD be day drinking.
Guess that's what I've got going for me. I at least have a job.
And meanwhile, outside of my little bubble the rest of the world is in raging chaos.
One of my nearest dearest friends almost lost her life the other day, because she was choked and beaten up. Another friend is still dealing with a long drawn out court case that has been ongoing for over 5 years. Yet another is battling a second round of breast cancer, and a third type of breast cancer caused by implants she had after her first battle of cancer and subsequent double mastectomy.
And even further outside my circle of friends, Covid is mutating and spreading faster, and the country I was born in now is facing another Civil War because the acting president is a sore loser.
2020 was a dumpster ðĨ, and it now seems that 2021 is saying "hold my beer..."
I'm now gonna quote one of my favorite songs because it says exactly what I feel:
"Lie number one
you're supposed to have it all together
And when they ask how you're doing
Just smile and tell them, "Never better"
And when they ask how you're doing
Just smile and tell them, "Never better"
Lie number 2
everybody's life is perfect except yours
So keep your messes and your wounds
And your secrets safe with you behind closed doors
So keep your messes and your wounds
And your secrets safe with you behind closed doors
Truth be told
The truth is rarely told, now
The truth is rarely told, now
I say I'm fine,
yeah I'm fine
oh I'm fine,
hey I'm fine
but I'm not
I'm broken
And when it's out of control
I'm broken
And when it's out of control
I say it's under control
but it's not
And you know it
I don't know why it's so hard to admit it
When being honest is the only way to fix it
There's no failure, no fall
There's no sin you don't already know
So let the truth be told..."
And you know it
I don't know why it's so hard to admit it
When being honest is the only way to fix it
There's no failure, no fall
There's no sin you don't already know
So let the truth be told..."
The song is called "Truth Be Told" by Matthew West.
I am definitely not fine. I know I'm terribly broken. Nothing is under control right now.
I WILL say the truth, no matter what.
Let the truth be told.
