Its gross.
Its REAL.
Its typing up a long post and then deleting all of it because you just can't face the truth.
Its insomnia at 1am. Or 4am. Or even 2am.
Its multiple days of barely any sleep then multiple days of oversleeping.
It's coming home from a 8 hr day of work and plopping down in the couch and doing nothing.
Its playing computer games to ignore the chores that need to be done.
It's not taking care of yourself properly or your home properly.
Its cleaning your nails out after scratching your head to get the build up of dirt and gunk temporarily off your head for those fleeting moments...
It's not having the energy to even get up off the couch, or wherever you're sitting, to go wash your hair, let alone have the energy to have a full body shower for weeks, if not months...
It's not making that important phone call because you are ashamed to tell anyone about your situation.
Its forgetting to fill out important paperwork.
Its forgetting to take the trash can out to the curb every other week.
Its thinking you saved the draft of the post, and then finding out you actually closed it out without saving it.
Its exhausting.
Its debilitating sometimes.
This is what depression and anxiety look like for me.
This is just a small picture of my ongoing battle.
I'll be ok. Eventually. I'm in the bottom of the valley right now. I'll be heading uphill soon. I hope. I don't think I can go any lower.
