WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME???? I know I'm depressed, but damn. How much more can I take??? This is totally killing me here. I try so damn hard to push myself out of this depression, but every little thing keeps bringing me down when I think I'm making headway.
1- the job situation. What is driving me crazy is that I can't apply for just any job becasue of my transportation issue. No car means I'm missing out on some INCREDIBLE job opps. :'( There are three right now, and maybe one that I could feasibly do as long as I work biz hours only and monday through friday with ocassional saturdays... But I hate that I would have to let potential employers know that I am restricted to hours due to transportation.
2- my kids. I can't call them as often as I want to. And everytime I see something on tv, like families with kids doing something as a family I start to cry. Then I feel like banging my head on a table or the wall cause I don't like this feeling at all.
3- this weather doesnt' help either. When the sun is out, I'm cool. But right now we have snow. At first I was happy cause I've never lived where it snowed before, so I was taking pictures and having a blast, but then it all reverts to my missing my kids and wishing they were here with me to enjoy the snow...
4- when I start to think this way, I start to loose interest in other things like actually applying for a job or calling a few people that requested me to call them for my home biz... If those are things that will improve my life and take me out of this "depending on my dad for money and everything right now" situation, then WHY CAN'T I JUST DO IT????? ARGH. I end up watching tv, playing damn farmville or sorority life on FB....
What to do... what to do....I am just lost.... :o(
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