Tonight's episode of TLC's Hoarders: Buried Alive really hit home with me. One is a lady who started hoarding when she went through a difficult divorce. The other is a mother, and a teacher, who got overwhelmed with her job and having twins to take care of. The mother with twins reminded me of myself in a way. :o(
Quite a few years ago, I could have been labeled a hoarder. I had an addiction to shopping, like this mother has. I collected stuff that honestly had no place in my house. My husband put up with it, which still amazes me to this day.
Hoarding is a total psychological impediment. It's a mental disease. Hoarders just cannot fathom getting rid of anything that may be of use or that has sentimental value... including sometimes garbage for the worst hoarders.
If I could find a picture of what my apartment used to look like you would have seen piles of clothes, both washed and unwashed, piles of papers, toys, plastic shopping bags; The living room had books, toys, movies, garbage; the kitchen always had piles of unwashed dishes; the bathroom with a pile of garbage by the toilet and the sink very dirty; the bedroom is where the clothes and papers would be. My closet was full of clothes and boxes high up and some on the floor.
I remember just placing a huge blanket on my living room floor to cover the dirt particles so my infant son could learn to crawl... instead of actually vacuuming and cleaning up. I remember one night going out to the kitchen to get a drink of water and step on something wet, then turning on the light and realizing that it was hundreds of white maggot worms crawling on my kitchen floor. *shudder* The worst that happened to me was when I was trying to reach a box on the top shelf of my closet, standing on a chair precariously on top of some shoes and clothing and slipping and falling and hitting my chest on the rounded point of the chair's back and then actually passing out.
Yes, my life was a complete mess to put it nicely.
As I was watching tonight's episode I realized that, yes I could have been classified as a hoarder, but I thankfully did not get to the point that most people on the show are at. I identified with the feelings this mother had of being afraid to let go of things, that if she let go of something there would be a hole or she would upset someone who gave her that item. My living room and bedroom were the only two rooms that were hard to walk through. The rest of the mess was due to sheer laziness and lack of energy to actually clean.
Even after having a friend come and literally push me out of my own house to go through my bedroom mess with my sister in law, I had a tough time with actually going through the stuff that was separated and organized for me to sort through, because I refused to allow them to throw anything away with the exception of absolute garbage. I had a train of thought that "well, at least I can see the floor now... I don't need to do anything else." I actually will never forget that friend. Even though she has since moved back to her country of Germany, she was a special friend who I miss dearly. She knocked sense into me, even though it took a few years for it to actually hit me full in the face.
What broke my train of thought was being evicted. Yes, sadly it took an eviction for me to finally let go of years worth of stuff and that frame of mind that I HAD to keep all of that. It took me a couple of days to pack and take things to a storage facility to keep the most important things, such as photos, books, movies, music, and some furnishings. I ended up leaving over half the stuff in the apartment as my time ran out to clear everything out. I had no more will power. There was no way to save everything, and I did not need to save everything. Stuff was left that I probably could have used, but at that point I had decided that in the future I could purchase stuff all over again, if we had the money and space to have it.
Yes, I cried when I took a look around at my apartment for the last time, seeing all the stuff that I had to leave behind. It was the closing chapter of my old life.
Two years later, I am in a position to start all over from 0. I currently am living in a tiny 2 bedroom house with a detached garage. What I had in the storage unit is now inside the garage, with the exception of most furniture, which my dad took to his place to try and repair some of it, as well as the kitchen table which is now inside the house I'm at, and one bed that is in the second bedroom. Over Christmas I gave away all the baby furniture and toys and almost all the blankets and clothes that I had. I am slowly going through all the stuff in the boxes and bags that I have left. I will be getting rid of more stuff as I go. There is clothing that I had in storage that I can either sell in a garage sale or donate to a local thrift store.
I am no longer in the frame of mind that would classify me as a hoarder. Yes, I still need to work on organizational skill- my desk is a mess of papers, lol; but I am no longer scared to get rid of anything.
I think I'm doing a good job.
Take time to check out the TLC website and the page about their show:
http://tlc.howstuffworks.com/tv/hoarding-buried-alive
There are links and other stuff that can help someone who you think may be a hoarder.
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